Six Road Trip Tips, and a Heartfelt Thank You
Central PA to the Berkshires
As your summertime travel either heats up or winds down, I offer these travel tips gleaned from my own experiences on the road last week.
Have a coffee plan. Good coffee is easy to come by if you’re in a city or suburb. However, if you’re traveling to, say, the wilds of central Pennsylvania, you’ll want to plan ahead to avoid caffeine disappointment. Unless a cup of whatever comes out of a hotel room coffee maker works for you—in which case, I’m impressed, and please proceed to “Tip 2.” Otherwise, you can:
—Stay at a hotel that serves good coffee. I was pleasantly surprised by the robustness and overall kick-me-awake quality of the “bold” option at the Fairfield Inn & Suites in Williamsport, PA. Based solely on the coffee situation, I would stay at a Fairfield Inn next time I’m in the market for an economy hotel. If you don’t know whether a hotel serves good coffee, call and ask. If the employee who answers the phone stops at Dunks or Starbucks before their shift instead of drinking the free stuff at work, steer clear of that hotel’s coffee.
—Book a hotel close to a trusted coffee chain or, if not available, a local coffee shop that gets good ratings on Google or Trip Advisor. As I learned from sad experience, make sure the local coffee shop opens before you need to skedaddle.
—Bring your own coffee, coffee maker, grinder, and scoop. I know someone who does this. While I find it a bit excessive, you do you: it’s your road trip, not mine.
Do not make travel plans based on hearsay from your teenager. When my 18-year-old son told me he needed to be at his camp counseling job on Saturday, August 5, I asked “What time?” We live several hundred miles from the camp, so it’s a rather important piece of information.
He shrugged and said, “All of my friends get there around one.”
Instead of assuming that his dude friends arrive “around one” because they sleep until noon, I should have called the camp to confirm counselor check-in time (my bad). However, I was trying to give my son the opportunity to be a grown-up (my misguided optimism). So, we drove to the above-mentioned Fairfield Inn & Suites on Friday, then, after two cups of their surprisingly good bold roast coffee, departed the next morning for the hour-long drive to camp.
When we arrived at 10:00 a.m., the smiling but militant check-in guy wouldn’t even let us into the parking lot: he said we’d have to come back at 1:30. No amount of pleading “but I have to be in Massachusetts for a show at 8:00 this evening” worked. In retrospect, I’m thinking that probably made matters worse.
When your travel plans go sideways, curse briefly, then make a new plan. Road trips rarely go as anticipated. You can get all upset and ruin your day and that of others in your travel party, or you can say “shit and damn” a few times, take a deep breath, and come up with Plan B.
When my son and I were faced with all of that time amidst all of those cornfields,
I informed him that we would visit the small town of Mifflinburg. Why Mifflinburg? Well, at 1/2 hour away, it’s the patch of civilization closest to camp. Unless we wanted to hunker down at the local Dollar General, which we did not.
I had a fine time exploring Mifflinburg, nicknamed “Buggy Town” on account of housing over 75 carriage manufacturers between 1850 and 1920. And I got to spend a few extra hours with my son. He may not have been thrilled to walk around listening to me comment on Mifflinburg’s architecture and history; however, he definitely enjoyed his BBQ bacon cheeseburger at Rusty Rail Brewing.
Here’s my Mifflinburg scrapbook:
Stopping for a Blizzard is always a good idea. Unless, of course, you had one at the Dairy Queen a few exits back.
Print your event and admission tickets. After encountering little traffic and perhaps exceeding the posted speed limits of Pennsylvania, New York, and Massachusetts, I made it to within a mile of Tanglewood, the summer home of the Boston Symphony Orchestra, about an hour before the show started. My rapid forward progress was abruptly halted by nine million or so other cars waiting to park, their drivers also en route to see 91-year-old John Williams conduct a program of his movie music.
I decided to use my stuck-in-traffic time wisely by downloading the concert tickets. Normally, I would’ve done this ahead of time but it had been a busy few days and I’d forgotten. Problem is, there were so many people at Tanglewood that they’d broken the internet, and I’m pretty sure my phone smirked at me when I tried to access the tickets.
As I walked uphill approximately 500 miles from my car to the entrance—with a cooler and picnic blanket in one hand and my iPhone in the other—I hit refresh several times, to no avail. But, hey, I managed to locate my husband, which was a minor miracle in that crowd.
Déjà vu ensued. When I explained our plight to the surprisingly militant ticket-taker, told us to step aside, get on Tanglewood’s WiFi, and download the tickets.
“But there’s no service, a lot of people are having this problem,” I pointed out.
“I need to scan a bar code for you to get in,” Generalissimo Ticket-Taker said.
“I wouldn’t have waited in that parking line if I didn’t have tickets,” I said. “Please.”
For the second time that day, pleading with the powers that be got me nowhere.
Meanwhile, Gabe was patiently trying to access the Tanglewood WiFi. The minutes ticked by, other frustrated patrons joined us, and then, magic! WiFi success!
Followed immediately by the Tragedy of the Expired Username and Password.
“The new password will be ‘Fuckthisbullshit,’” I told my husband through gritted teeth. “Capital “F,” with a “1” and/or “!” at the end if needed, as I’m sure it will be.”
While Gabe continued patiently typing into my phone, I saw The Generalissimo wave through a young man and his attractive girlfriend after they told him they couldn’t download their tickets.
“Fuckthisbullshit,” I said, grabbing Gabe with one hand while continuing to juggle the cooler and picnic blanket with the other. We darted past the militant ticket-taker and disappeared into the crowd.
After settling ourselves onto the blanket and popping open a couple of much-deserved adult beverages, Gabe kept looking around, as if worried that the Tanglewood Police would manage to find us, haul us off to a small cell equipped with kickass subwoofers, and torture us by blasting Wagner or Rachmaninoff.
“Before I met you, I never would’ve done that,” he said.
“Before I met you, I would’ve done that much sooner,” I replied.
This was just a tiny fraction of the Tanglewood crowd on Saturday, Aug. 5, 2023. 6. Don’t forget the bug spray. Although we hadn’t printed or pdf’d our tickets, we had remembered to bring Off! with us to Tanglewood the night before. Unfortunately, we weren’t as diligent about bug spray the next morning, when we popped by the Thom Reed UFO Park in Sheffield, MA.
During the 5-7 minutes it took us to skim the Upper Sheffield Covered Bridge’s impressively passive historical sign (“The Oldest Covered Bridge in Massachusetts was ordered to be built in 1854”), walk its 93’ span over the Housatonic River, and read both sides of a UFO marker and a “Governor’s Citation in Recognition of the off-world incident” that had “significant”ly and “tru(e)” ly occurred there, we were dive-bombed by zillions of mosquitoes and other biting bugs.
Couldn’t the aliens have taken the insects with them? Or, wait: could it be that the aliens continually release the biting bugs onto that “historically true” UFO landing site to torment and weaken us so that they can more easily beam us up to their ship and extract information from and/or impregnate us?
I think the governor’s office needs to open an investigation into the connection between the aliens and these undeniably on-world pests.
Gabe should’ve put a bottle of bug spray, not a bottle of Pellegrino, in his hand. In case you’re wondering, this sign reads: Donated By: History Channel’s ANCIENT ALIENS. Welcome To The Site Of The First UFO Incident Officially Inducted Into the U.S. As Historically True. Sculpture By: Len Morneau New Hartford, CT.
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So glad you are doing this! It was my chucklle this morning and a LOL at the concert antics. I now have a new go to password! Have you do e Salem yet?
You are the adventure queen!! Love hearing about all of the interesting spots you are somehow able to find. Thanks for the tips, ideas and your fun writing style.